Ah, Valentine’s Day. The single most dreaded day by guys across the globe. Panicked thoughts flood through theirs minds from approximately February 7th to February 14th (for the ones who wait until the last minute). What am I gonna get her? What will she like? What will not get me killed? Before you start hyperventilating, don’t forget to ask her to be your Valentine today. Yeah, it may seem pointless. But it’s not. Trust me; we love that shit.
If you’d like to survive until February 15th…read this post. I put it up an entire week early so that you’d have time to prepare…and I’m re-posting it to remind all of you aforementioned last-minute-men. I’ll be your very own Cupid. You’re welcome, men. You’re more welcome, ladies…
1. Buy her a dozen red roses…
Roses on Valentine’s Day are a must. Red is the best because it signifies love, but pink is acceptable, too. Don’t be one of those guys that refuses to get roses because florist’s double their prices on the big day. Cheap = Sucky Valentine’s Day, which = Angry, Angry Girlfriend. (See Going Dutch = Going Doosh for further clarification about how girls feel about cheap guys.) You can order them online at 1-800-Flowers.com.
…or bring them to her job.
Girls love getting flowers and chocolates at work (whether they’re delivered or you bring them to her yourself). It makes us feel super special. Also, all of our co-workers get insanely jealous and we bask in our glory.
2. Get her a heart-shaped box of chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate…
Chocolate is hands-down the most important thing you could buy your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. (See If Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend, Then Chocolate Is Her Soulmate if you don’t believe me.) It’s way more fun to get it in a heart-shaped box, but not imperative. For example, I love Hershey’s Kisses with Almonds and Lindt milk chocolate. I’ve never seen giant heart-shaped boxes of either of those, but I accept them with open arms (and an open mouth). You get order them at www.chocolate.com.
…or deliver the chocolate to her job!
Same idea as delivering the flowers. We just look so good in front of our female co-workers. It also helps our over-eager male co-workers to see how much we’re loved (like how I tossed that in to ensure that you do it? Haha).
3. Take her out to a romantic (and possibly expensive) dinner.
This is not an Applebees night, my friend. Make reservations somewhere really nice, preferably upscale and possibly new. It’s Valentine’s Day, and she wants to feel special. She’s most likely going to be wearing some new dress or outfit, so show her off, will ya?
4. Buy her a touching card and write something heart-felt inside. You could also make her one if it’s creative…
I don’t care how nice the gift is, girls look for the card immediately. It better be sweet and caring, and have some sort of loving note written inside. If it doesn’t, she’ll be sad. And you don’t want to make her sad on Valentine’s Day, do you? (See Write Me A Romantic, Heart-Felt Card That’ll Make A Hallmark Writer Cry Or I’ll Make *You* Cry for more details.)
…and a cute stuffed animal wouldn’t hurt either.
This is just for added effect, but girls love stuffed animals. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s some sick thing we held on to from childhood. Maybe they’re just cuddly and soft and we like to have them to sleep next to when you’re not there. Either way, spend the 5 extra bucks, dude.
5. Buy her an amazing gift (preferably jewelry).
If you’re dating a year or more, there better be jewelry inside that small box. If you’re not, there better be jewelry inside that small box (just kidding — kind of). A long relationship means that you obviously love the girl, so why not light her her pretty eyes with some glistening diamonds or shiny golden bling? Rings are the best choice, but you really can’t go wrong with any type of jewelry. (Just make sure you take a girl with you to help pick it out.) www.zales.com/ is a good site for you to check out.
Most of all, show her that you love her…
I didn’t make this one #6, because (1) You should do it without me having to tell you and (2) 5 Things To Do just sounds cooler than 6 Things To Do. Anywho, above all else, show your girlfriend that you love her. Say “Happy Valentine’s Day” in the morning, before she has to remind you. Get all (or most) of the things on my list. We only want flowers, cards, gifts, and candy because we want to know that you love us.
Yeah yeah, material objects don’t necessarily mean love, I know. But, come on, how bad would your girlfriend feel if she didn’t even get a card from you? Or a Happy V-Day? Or an ‘I Love You.’ Therefore, follow my list, be extra sweet to her, and tell her you LOVE her. That will transform your stressful Valentine’s Day into a loving occasion and a happy girlfriend. I guarantee it.